I got stoned and this is my movie review.

Q: Why does Mahershala Ali want to kill Alita?

Q: Who is Dr Ito and why do they all like him so much?

Q: The whole “get a pro contract by racing in this open and then somehow leverage that pro career into … magic beans?” plan seems like a pretty convoluted way to move the plot forward?

Q: Who’s doing the productive labour in this society? Where are all the excess calories coming from?

Q: What on earth is wrong with that poor woman’s eyes?

Q: Are those rollerblades, or some kind of klapper hoverskate?

Q: And what’s the central conflict here?

Q: Wait wait wait is this some kind on inept metaphor about apartheid?

Q: No, wait, more like a … Romeo + Juliet?

Q: Ed Norton is aboard some kind of 1%er … zeppelin?

{{<rating 4>}}